Visiting nobles

Sometimes the real caption is way better than anything I could ever come up with. Take, for instance:

"Boulder Canyon. The visiting nobles were very much impressed with the size of the project."

-Thank you, Bureau of Reclamation

Into the light

George did not know what drew him into this strange room in this strange place on this strange day.

But as he walked from one room to another, his eyes adjusting to the light, he knew one thing for certain.

Down here that son of a bitch Eisenhower couldn't tell him it was time to mow his lawn.

-Thank you, Bureau of Reclamation

It works

For months Harold had toiled with a soldering iron and some rudimentary tools, putting together what his neighbors referred to mockingly as "his cute little invention." But with one definitive beep, he proved them all wrong. His invention worked. It could tell hay from non-hay. And soon Harold would be a rich man.

-Thank you, Department of Energy.

God Bless It

Dr. Martin Luther King's dream has yet to be fully realized. But each time a hand protruding from a white sleeve shakes a hand protruding from a sleeve of color, we take one step closer to its fulfillment.

Bravo, Land of the Free. Bravo.

-Thank you, National Renewable Energy Laboratory

And she's climbing...

The minute I put down this guitar, I am so gettin' laid.

-Thank you, National Cancer Institute

Statue Garden

There is very little about this picture that doesn't make me sad.

Actually, there is nothing about this picture that doesn't make me sad.

-Thank you, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

A Cub's Nightmare

We don't like the man with the leather hands. He scares us.

Thank you, U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service

My Instrument

Most people join the Navy out of economic necessity, a sense of duty to country, or a desire to see the world. McMillen joined because he had always wanted to be in a Naval band. This desire, his sister Isabelle would tell you, went back to his childhood growing up near a train depot by the Susquehanna River. There, he'd sit and listen as various travelers would pick a tune on a banjo or whistle as they waited for the No. 26 headed downriver.

But when McMillen got to the Navy, he quickly learned a hard truth. If you wanted to play in the Naval band, you had to pay for your own instrument. McMillen was not a rich man, and he couldn't even afford a jew's harp.

So what did he do? He caught a cat and he played that cat like it was nobody's business. Boy could he make that cat sing.

-Thank you, The Navy

(Editor's Note: Today I am expanding the site to include public domain images from .mil sites.)


We've almost got it.

Just try rocking it back and forth one more time.

-Thank you, U.S. Department of Agriculture

A Long Drive

Having driven over 1,500 miles to see the Grand Canyon, Brandt and Janelle found that, on the odd day, it can be fogged in. Since Brandt, who was a stickler for time, had only scheduled 3.5 hours to look around, they promptly got in their car and made the return journey home without ever seeing the geological wonder.

When they got back to their house, they found that the neighbor's boy had forgotten to take in their paper and mail. However, their answering machine had two new messages - one from a loan refinancing company and the other from Janelle's college roomate, who she hadn't heard from in almost 13 years.

-Thank you, National Park Service

What's that?

Excuse me.

Did I just hear you whine because I'm giving myself the biggest piece?

Well, I just got back from the moon. And it's my birthday.

What the hell did you do this week?

-Thank you, NASA

Awful sorry

Ma'am, the U.S. Government sincerely apologizes for any harm this crashed dirigible may have done to your flowers. But this is truly and honestly a matter of national security.

-Thank you, National Nuclear Security Administration

Fashionable Miss

Without the Aquasocks, it's just an outfit.

With them, it's fashion.

- Thank you, U.S. Census Bureau